marriage jokes one liners
Starts off easy, then gets harder, and eventually you go online and find a way to cheat.” — Chris Burns, 34. To the bride and groom! 178. My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9. One between a deaf man and a blind woman It was an emotional wedding. The largest collection of wedding one-line jokes in the world. The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. 138. If you get a good wife, youâll become happy. And so, without further ado, let me ask those of you who still can to stand up and join me in a toast to the bride and groom. Does Your Vote Count? Before the wedding I have loved all the women on earth, after the wedding one woman less. We've Got Tons of Info to Help You Decide. I’d also like to congratulate the groom on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it. Absolutely hillarious marriage one-liners! My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I told him to leave me alone, and when he did, I asked him why he ignored me. When marriage goes out the door, love comes innuendo! There are two times a man does'nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage! Always get married early in the morning. 95. 67. 111. Then we met. 123. But he's in Africa and he's walking.- Oprah WinfreyA husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. The groom will be waiting for you at the ALTAR. Exactly, son. 133. Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes, and hail. Easy to walk into, confusing to piece together, and difficult to exit.”— Jay Gallagher. He has been in love with the same woman for 25 years—I hope his wife doesn’t find out. 196. Just interject one of these one-liners into your speech and you'll have every guest cracking up. We’re gonna miss you, buddy! “Any husband who says, ‘My wife and I are completely equal partners’, is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.” — Bill Cosby. Newest funny jokes of the day. Honey, do you think I gained weight? Recipes. The husband was asked if in all those years he had ever thought of divorce. My friendâs snoring is so bad his wife bought one of those anti-snoring devices. Marriage is like deleting all the apps on your phone except one. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. 193. You are now looking into the eyes of the person who is statistically most likely to murder you. There are 4 rings men need for marriage - The first is an engagement ring, then a … Absolutely hillarious wedding one-liners! 86. Just asked my wife what she’s “burning up for dinner” and it turned out to be all of my personal belongings. My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. Pursuant to U.S. Girlfriend: “Honey, will you give me a ring on our wedding day?”. ", "My wife/husband said the most wonderful thing to convince me to marry her/him: The closets could all be mine since s/he wears the same thing every day. Mommy, why are all the cars beating their horns? Do you know a funny one liner? What is the synonym of marriage? Why did the Mormon cross the road? Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. I took a picture and sent it to Benetton. 104. Can someone live well in a marriage? On their wedding night, a groom asks his new bride, “Honey, am I your first?” She says, “Why does everyone ask me that?”.
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